Delayed Obedience = Disobedience

     I was sitting at my gate on a layover in Chicago as when I began to write this. I missed my flight that morning, and the result was, I had more time to kill. Huh, that sentence just struck me. Who would want to kill time? It’s such a fleeting fragile commodity to begin with… and is not one of my internal complaints often a bemoaning of lack of time? Well there I had it, and with it, the opportunity to really think.

     Now back to my original train of thought. I just finished studying some of my current Bible Study (James: Mercy Triumphs, by Beth Moore). This particular lesson was on James 1:5-8

“But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him. But he must ask in faith without any doubting, for the one who doubts, is like the surf of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind. For that man ought not to expect that he will receive anything from the Lord, being a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.”

      As if the text itself doesn’t pack enough of a punch, the commentary packed even more… my own thoughts having been sent to wander in this direction, delivered a wallop that will leave a mark (and odd as it may sound, I hope it does).

     Some quotes from the study: “What happens if we chuck all this singles-mindedness and wholeheartedness for the natural life of duplicity? We get the grand prize: a life of instability…”

“…There comes a time to drive a stake in the ground and lay claim to one life, one focused goal, and one God…”

Excerpt from my journal:

Do I have single focus? Do I really believe God is God? Or do I constantly take back the reigns and do my own thing… humoring God, and deceiving myself, letting us both think that He is in charge, when secretly or unconsciously, I call all the shots?

OUCH! Does that pierce you as it does me?

     Perhaps you don’t struggle as I do with full surrender to God. I mean, I want to give Him all, I say I give Him all, I really do try sometimes…. But do I really live surrendered to Him? Do I pick and choose which of His leading and teaching really applies to me? Do I demand to understand His intentions or the big picture before I make a move to obey? Do I convince myself that since it doesn’t make sense to me, it obviously isn’t His will?

     It isn’t that I live a sordid life of duplicity worthy of a block buster motion picture or anything… but I, like I believe many others, have my masks. I know the behaviors and the proper customs of the various roles I play on my life’s stage. Sometimes, I can act so well as to convince myself I’m not acting. But really, when it gets down to it, am I consistent in my character? I think I can be honest in saying that I do see improvement in this area. I can look back on my life and with integrity conclude that my masks have become less opaque. I tend to be closer to a consistent character in this scene of my life, rather than the flurry of costume changes and role juggling of some years ago. Still, I have room to grow.

     Since I began writing this post over two weeks ago the Lord has continued to challenge me in the area of obedience. (and just in case you were wondering, no, it does not usually take me two weeks to write a blog post. It’s called procrastination… and more accurately, disobedience. Didn’t I just say God is still working with me on this? I’m not always the best/quickest student).

     

     Recently, I was in a conversation with a woman I’ve only met once, but whose feminine strength both challenged and inspired me. In the course of the conversation, she casually stated that, “the Bible does not give us a cafeteria plan for us to pick and choose what parts of it we would like to obey we are called to obey it all or throw the whole thing out….”

The obedience issue just keeps coming up. But how in the world does this relate to the Scripture with which I started this post?

“But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him. But he must ask in faith without any doubting, for the one who doubts, is like the surf of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind. For that man ought not to expect that he will receive anything from the Lord, being a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.”

    For me, I think it comes down to a deeper issue of trust. Do I really trust God? Do I trust that His plans for me are really for my good? Do I trust that He really loves me? Do I trust that His wisdom will be sound? Do I trust that He can satisfy?

    Funny, how trust and believe can almost be interchangeable…

The above verses talk about the one who is “double-minded” being “tossed by the wind” and “unstable in all his ways.” This is why we need single-mindedness. Undivided focus on the Lover of our souls… this comes through trust. Trust is earned and trustworthiness is proven by consistency of character and faithfulness. God is both faithful and consistent. He is trustworthy… I am confident that the more I submit and obey Him, the more my heart will surrender and trust Him.

Songs in my head

I Believe, Help Thou My Unbelief- by Bill and Gloria Gaither

 I believe, help thou my unbelief 

I take the finite risk of trusting as a child.

I believe, help thou my unbelief 

I walk into the unknown trusting all the while.

I long so much to feel the warmth that others seem to know, 

But should I never feel a thing, I claim Him even so.

I believe, help thou my unbelief

 I walk into the unknown trusting all the while.

And

Trust and Obey- by John H. Sammis 1887

But we never can prove the delights of His love

Until all on the altar we lay;

For the favor He shows, for the joy He bestows,

Are for them who will trust and obey.

Refrain:

Trust and obey, for there’s no other way

To be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey.

Then in fellowship sweet we will sit at His feet,

Or we’ll walk by His side in the way;

What He says we will do, where He sends we will go;

Never fear, only trust and obey.